Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Tired!
That is what I am tonight, tired, physically, emotionally, mentally! Tired of the cycling, tired of the mania, tired of the anger, tired of the frustration, tired of the depression, tired of the constant flux of emotions, tired of the obsessive thoughts... Just plain tired! I am ready for some peace. I am ready for some stability. I fear that another stay at the hospital looms in our future once again. I do not know why I fear that? The doctor has not indicated that it is even remotely on the radar. Maybe it is just intuition? Maybe it is knowing the end result of the roller coaster she is on right now? Maybe it is just fear? Whatever it is, I pray that I am wrong. I pray that the medications start to work their wonders on her brain sooner rather than later. I pray that God would prepare my heart for whatever the future holds. I pray for peace. Like the old prayer goes... God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
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Kelly,
ReplyDeleteI'm with you in spirit - and will pray for you and your family as well. I understand the fatigue, and the fear. I know you'll handle what comes, and I understand the toll it takes. Take care of yourself.
(((hugs)))
It's mysterious how as parents we can just feel the storm in our kids before it arrives. I hope the feeling passes without an episode. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteOh Kelly! I will be praying of ya'll too. Sounds like you're in a rough spot. It's so hard to be there. It's like waiting for the fuse to finally blow, but it's a really, really long fuse that you have to watch and wait and watch and wait for it to go off. I'm right there with you in the trenches. :(
ReplyDeleteHey Kelly,
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking of you this week. Jasmeen was released Monday afternoon but she's no better now than she was before she went in. They released her on .5mg Risperdal twice a day. Really?? *sigh* We have over a week until we go back to the pdoc.