Spring Break Week

Overall this has been a good spring break week. It has been really nice to sleep in a little later, play a little longer, and generally relax a little more. Mark and the older kids have been gone most of the week with the youth group on a trip. We spent a lot of time with friends and enjoyed going to the park (although all the moms were freezing), going roller skating, playing in the sprinkler, and eating Mayfield ice cream. We needed this break in the roller coaster ride, and I am very thankful for every good moment that we had.

Last week was not so peaceful... We had a psychiatrist appointment on Tuesday and Mary broke down twice while we were in seeing the doctor. Her blood pressure was low, her heart rate was really high and she was acting very confused and frustrated. By the time we got home, she was complaining of a headache and being dizzy and then before bed she said that her throat had been hurting. When I went in to wake her up the next morning, I was supposed to take her pulse and see what her resting heart rate was. It was really, really high and she said she had not slept all night because she had been having nightmares. She was also running a fever. I called the psychiatrist and she told us to stop giving her the seroquel immediately because that could be causing the heart rate increase. I took her to the family doctor and we got a few raised eyebrows over her heart rate being so high. Turns out she had strep throat, which could be dangerous because of the chance of developing a rash with it. One of the medications she is on can turn any rash into Stevens-Johnson syndrome which can be fatal. And her heart rate still should not have been as high as it was even with being sick, so we are staying off the seroquel and monitoring it. If she stops sleeping or her brain starts racing again, we will try the seroquel again.

She seemed to be handling the medication change okay, although today was a rough day again. I guess if I am honest, saying it was rough would be putting it mildly. I came as close today to calling 911 as I have ever come. It all started over an innocent sandwich (which we did not have, but she wanted!), and ended 2 hours later with our living room completely rearranged by a raging 11 year old, and her actually going into the kitchen and searching the drawers for a knife to kill herself. I am bruised and battered both physically and emotionally. I don't know if it is all the excitement of the past week, anxiety over going back to school on Monday, or if the medication has completely cleared her system and she is starting to cycle again? The next few days should give us a better idea... but maybe not?

Tonight I am reminded again that our lives are not in our own hands, but in the Hands of One who loves us unconditionally. And I am thankful for His plans and purposes in our lives, even when we don't understand them. I am praying for peace and stability, but resting in the knowledge that He knows best.