Sad Goodbyes

Saying goodbye is never easy. It is especially hard to say goodbye to a loved one when you don't know if you will see them again on this earth. That is what we experienced last weekend when we took the family to say goodbye to their grandfather. It was a really hard trip to make, but one I am really glad we did. I think that it was important for the kids to have that time with their grandfather and say goodbye in their own ways.

Mary did really well the whole time we were there. She shared "her song" with her grandmother and they both sat on the couch and cried as they listened to it. She was able to give her grandfather a hug and tell him how much she loves him. I think that just being there and seeing him has helped her in many ways.

This past week has been harder on her as the reality of his upcoming death is setting in. She told me on Thursday that she is feeling very sad and angry about 98% of the time and very manic the other 2%. I think that is very accurate. She breaks into tears at the blink of an eye and her frustration tolerance is very low. Then she has these bursts of energy that are disproportionate to a situation... happy, giddy, silliness that is out of the ordinary. It is hard to gage how much of this is related to normal sadness over her grandpa and how much is cycling.

I found a picture of her sitting on our front porch, on her grandpa's lap, wrapped up in his jacket. I gave it to her last night and she loved seeing it. She remembers that day (it was a couple of years ago). It is a picture that I know she will treasure in years to come. Her biggest question right now is whether he will be her guardian angel when he gets to heaven. We told her that is probably going to be his first assignment (after he says hello to all of his loved ones already waiting for him there).