So It Begins...

Open house was today for Mary's middle school. She has been soooo excited about starting middle school. All went really well at the school until we met the last teacher of the day. All of Mary's classes are co-taught classes which means that there is a resource teacher in the classroom with her to help her and any other kids who qualify for special education services. We have explained this probably a dozen times and she seemed fine with it. However when we met her last teacher, the resource teacher who is going to be in there with them was not in the room. She has her own classroom which she teaches in when she is not being a co-teacher and it happens to be a small "resource" room. We went to her classroom to meet her and Mary immediately began to get nervous. She realized that it was a resource room, not the regular education classrooms. One of her biggest frustrations in school this past year and her biggest fear for this coming year is that she will be pulled out from the regular classroom for testing, reading assignments, small group study times, etc. So, Mary started asking questions about what a co-teacher does, what does that mean for her during the day, and would that mean that she would be pulled out of class? Of course this teacher does not know Mary and has not been given access to her IEP yet, so she did not know that being pulled out is such an issue. She started to talk to Mary about how once a week there is a group of about 9 kids who will go with her to her room for reading time, then to computer lab and then back to her room for homework help. That was the match to the fuse! Mary got very upset and told her that she absolutely WOULD NOT go out with her, that she was in NO WAY going to be pulled from the classroom, etc. She refused to leave the room until the teacher could promise her that this would not happen, which of course the teacher could not promise. So, we left the school with Mary in tears and threatening to punch any teacher or administrator who tried to force her to be pulled out from classes and I was close to tears myself.

I am sure that this will all work out fine in the end. I realize that being in middle school we are going to have to advocate more for her and that there will be more red tape that has to be gone through. She is going from a small elementary school that serviced maybe 50 students who have an IEP to a middle school that probably services a couple of hundred students. And I know that these teachers here don't know her the way her elementary school teachers did, but they will get to know her as the year goes by. Oh but I long for her to have a smooth transition, for her to feel like a "normal" kid for once. There is a fine line between protecting her from the frustrations that I see lurking around the corners (lockers that won't open, crowded halls, difficult homework, etc., etc., etc.), and letting her experience middle school as any other kid would. I have to fight for her and let her know that we are on her team, but also step back and let the system do it's job. She wants to be treated like any other kid... as long as that doesn't involve doing something that makes her uncomfortable. And we are left walking that tightrope trying to find our balance.

Tonight I am praying for a smooth transition over the next couple of weeks. I am praying for Mary to be flexible, not rigid, for her to be willing to try new things. I am praying for her teachers and the administrators at the school to have compassionate and understanding hearts towards my child. And I am also praying for peace in the midst of what could become a storm of hurricane proportions if the transition is not smooth, that our family would be a light to those around us, and that we trust the ONE who is ultimately in control of all things.