Did you ever play that game as a kid? You know the one I am talking about... Where you tickle each other until you can't take any more and then you yell "uncle". Or you take turns doing something that is mildly unpleasant until it becomes very unpleasant and you yell "uncle". That is the signal to STOP! That is where I am right now. Yelling "UNCLE" at the top of my lungs, but I don't think that God is playing by my rules.
It has been an overall tough week, and just when I thought I was at the breaking point, another hit rolls our way. Mary has been working towards a manic cycle over the past few days. She voluntarily took on doing not one ,but three yes, count them with me, three projects for school over this weekend. Now on the one hand we are very proud of her enthusiasm. On the other hand, that is a head's up signal to us. She has been great about working on them and has completed 2 of the 3 and has the third one half way done. She has been a happy manic, singing and laughing, dancing and grooving... But we know that all good things come to an end eventually and her manic phase came crashing to the ground on the way home from church. In a matter of 10 minutes she went from being VERY happy, to VERY angry, to the depths of despair. As the anger was taking over her brain and she was verbally lashing out at me, telling me what an awful mother I am and how much she hates me, all I could think was "UNCLE!"
Once Mary moved past the angry phase and saw the damage that her words caused she immediately became despondent, talking about how awful she is and that she can never show her face again because of how horribly she treats her mother. She spent some time sobbing in sorrow over her actions.
The plan for this afternoon was to finish the last project. Needless to say that has not happened and probably won't happen today. Thankfully it is not due until later in the week, so hopefully she will have time and energy to work on it between now and then. She is working her way back up to fully manic even as I write this. It should be a very interesting week around here.
Prayers appreciated... no actually, prayers desperately needed!
I will be praying for all of you! Thanks for sharing so honestly.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about this, I'm glad that you can see it coming, it must help to feel prepared of the mood changes ahead, but it must also be stressful and hard to enjoy the happy time, knowing that she is going to drop into anger soon. I hope your week gets better! Hugs!!!
ReplyDeleteMy heart is with you. I keep hoping I'll eventually get the strength and grace to roll with it, waiting out the tougher times and embracing the easier moments. People keep telling me that the meds will work, things will get better, manageable. Hoping for sooner for your family too!
ReplyDelete(((hugs)))